Give Me A Reason
by Char-sensei
Summary: **YAOI** Omi feels life isn't worth living. Nothing is left for him, and he believes his one true love doesn't love him back. Will Ken be able to save Omi, before it's too late? Does he feel the same thing towards the younger assasin? Read to find out
1. Last Resort

Title: Give Me A Reason  
  
Pairing: Omi/Ken  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, and Suicide  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of these gorgeous men. Don't sue me, I'm not making a cent off of this.  
  
  
  
AN: This is my first Weiss fic. I hope everyone likes it. I've only seen the first 11 episodes, so some things I say in here might be wrong. Please bare with me. I think I've read enough I've got a basic idea on everything, but nobody is perfect. Especially me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Cut my life into pieces  
  
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing  
  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding  
  
Do you even care if I die bleeding  
  
Would it be wrong, would it be right  
  
If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might  
  
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide  
  
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
  
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine  
  
I'm running and I'm crying  
  
I never realized I was spread too thin  
  
Till it was too late and I was empty within  
  
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin  
  
Downward spiral, where do I begin  
  
It all started when I lost my mother  
  
No love for myself and no love for another  
  
Searching to find a love upon a higher level  
  
Finding nothing but questions and devils  
  
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
  
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine  
  
I'm running and I'm crying  
  
I can't go on living this way  
  
//Last Resort, Papa Roach//  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter 1: Easy Escape  
  
Omi's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
It would be so easy. I've been planning it for months now. No one even suspects. I'm alone right now. Ken is at soccer practice, Yohji's on a date, and Aya is at the hospital visiting his sister. No one should be home for at least another hour. I should do it. I can't lose my nerve, not this time. If I don't do it now, I might not ever try again.  
  
The stainless steel blade reflects the light in the brightly lit bathroom. It draws my attention. I bought this knife for this purpose about three months ago. I've been tempted to use it ever since.  
  
Am I really ready now? How do you know if you're ready to die?  
  
I might not be ready, but I need to do this. If I don't do it this way, I'll only be prolonging my death, and it'll just make it so much more painful. Every breath leaves me in agony without him in my arms.  
  
Why am I so afraid? There is nothing left for me here. I have no one. Ouka is gone now. My sister, the only person who has ever been able to show me what true friendship is. I'm all alone.  
  
I press the blade against the soft skin of my wrist. It hurts, but not badly. Nothing like what I feel inside. Nothing can compare to that. I close my eyes, but all I see are emerald orbs that haunt me constantly. I can never seem to escape them. They're in my dreams, my nightmares, even when I'm awake.  
  
"Ken..." I whisper his name quietly. I wonder what he'll do when he finds out what I've done? Will he even care? Will anyone?  
  
I've never told him how I feel. I don't think I could stand that rejection. At least this way I can die, thinking he might feel the same.  
  
I press a bit harder on the blade and it pierces my skin. There is now a small and barely noticeable red line. I set the blade on the counter and strip out of all my clothes. I can't stand this pain anymore.  
  
I lean over and begin to fill the tub with cold water. As I'm standing there, waiting for it to fill I pick up the knife again. Ken could never love me, I'm just fooling myself. I run the blade down my chest, and a line of blood appears. I keep running it over my body, loving the feeling it gives me. For once I feel in control of something. For once.  
  
Once my chest is slick with the red sticky substance I climb into the cold water. It freezes my body instantly, but I need this. I grip the knife tightly and push it into my wrist, until the pale skin breaks, I slide the knife up my arm, then I do the same to my other arm.  
  
Finally I am free.  
  
As the blood leaves my body all I can feel is relief. I've finally done it. No one will ever have to worry about me again. I won't be a liability. I won't be in their way.  
  
"I love you, Ken..." I let out breathlessly. Only now, when I'm weak from blood loss, do I have the strength to say those words. Only now. I close my eyes, and visions of Ken float through my head. I almost wish he was here now, holding me in his warm arms. Oh, how I've longed to be held by him. It'll never happen, especially now. Only a few more minutes. I'll miss you Ken.  
  
I feel a sharp pain on my cheek and I slowly open my eyes only to be staring into the same emerald ones that were just haunting my thoughts. Is this a dream? Was it my imagination or was that a tear that just fell down his cheek?  
  
He saying something...no...I think he is yelling. I can't hear him. Why can't I hear his beautiful voice.  
  
I muster up all the strength I can and I lift my arm. Why is it so heavy?  
  
I touch the side of his face, accidentally getting some blood on him. My hand slides down the side of his face, and he catches it with his own.  
  
"Ke...Ken-kun..."  
  
I grip his hand a little harder. I'm not ready to let go yet. I'm not so sure I made the right decision, now. Ken...I'll miss you.  
  
A strange wetness falls on my face. I look up into his eyes again and I can see, he really is crying. Why? Why is he crying for me? I know I'm not ready to go yet.  
  
I need to tell Ken how I feel, but I can't, I'm too weak. No! This can't be happening!  
  
Slowly as the darkness envelops me, all I can feel is his firm hold on my hand. They are my only root to the mortal world, but then suddenly, the warmth vanishes, and I feel the darkness welcome me home. It wraps around me, and embraces me in deaths warm embrace, nothing how, I'm sure, Ken's embrace feels, but it comforts me. I feel like I'm going to bed after a long day of hard work. I feel...I'm still lonely.  
  
Then I know no more.  
  
  
  
TBC!!!  
  
~*~  
  
Please review! The next chapter, if I write another one, will be from Ken's POV. I'll only write the next one if I get 5 reviews, or if the reviews I get are really good. So if you like this story and want me to continue, tell me!  
  
  
  
Ja  
  
Tigre MoonStorme 


	2. Questions and Confessions

Tigre: I'm sorry this has taken so long. I know I said five reviews, and you guys were so nice you gave me 18! I kept trying to work on it, but my muse had abandoned me. Don't worry! She's back, and now I'll be working as hard as I can on getting even more of this out! ^_^ I'm not promising anything though. She tends to leave at the most inconvenient times.  
  
Yuki: She always blames everything on me! *pout* I'm a busy person...er...muse.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Ken sat by the bed in the white, sterile hospital room. The only sound other than the steady beeping of the heart monitor, was the deep steady breathing coming from the small pale figure laying in the bed.  
  
He knew he had nearly died with him though. He couldn't live without the smaller boy in his life. He couldn't without any of the others of Weiss, but especially Omi. The boy was very special to him. He always had been, they'd always been much closer than any of the other assassins. He knew he would die along with Omi if the other boy didn't make it. Because, in reality, Omi was a part of Ken. Just as much as Ken was a part of Omi.  
  
Ken glanced over at the still form on the bed. He was so pale, and he looked so small. He felt his heart ache just looking at him like this. Omi had always been the one to hold the group together. It was his smiles, and encouraging words that made it possible for the four assassins to keep their sanity. Without him here, there would be no Weiss. It was as simple as that.  
  
He really hated seeing the smaller assassin like this. It broke his heart. He still had no idea why the boy had tried to kill himself. The door suddenly burst open, and Yohji came storming in.  
  
"What the HELL happened?!" He demanded. After Ken had called the ambulance he called Yohji and Aya's cell phones and told them Omi was going to the hospital. He had left it at that, not giving them any information. Yohji then spotted Omi.  
  
"Holy Shit." He muttered. "My god, what happened?" he asked a bit calmer now that he could see him, and see he was alive.  
  
"He tried to kill himself." Ken answered simply. It was then Yohji noticed the bandages on his wrists. "If I had found him any later than I did, he would have died."  
  
Yohji stopped to digest this. "Why? I didn't even know anything was wrong, he seemed so normal. He didn't act any different from usual."  
  
'No', Ken thought, 'he did. He had been avoiding me for the past few months. I asked about it, but he said it was nothing. He wouldn't talk to me. Maybe...did I do something that made him want to kill himself? What if...what if he found out? Oh my god, what if all of this is my fault?'  
  
He ducked his head, and pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes, unable to stop the flow of tears.  
  
"It's all my fault..." He murmured.  
  
"What?" Yohji asked.  
  
"I should have known; he's been avoiding me lately." He took a deep breath. "It's all my fault, Yohji." He broke down and started crying. He couldn't help it. He shouldn't he was an assassin and tears were a sign of weakness, but once he started the tears just kept coming.  
  
"Ken...this isn't your fault. As much as I'd like to have someone to blame this on, you had no idea he was going to do this. I...I think I might know why he did it, but I don't think it's my place to tell you." Yohji looked down at Omi's small form. "When Omi wakes up, I think he should tell you."  
  
"Wha...what are you talking about?" He understood, but it hurt to know that Omi told Yohji something that he couldn't say to him. It stung very deeply.  
  
At that moment their attention was drawn back to the bed, where Omi began to stir. He slowly opened his eyes.  
  
"K...Ken-kun?" He asked, blinking to clear his vision. Ken was by his side in an instant. He gently took his hand, trying not to jar the bandaged wrist. "Ken-kun, what happe..." His eyes widened as he began to remember everything.  
  
"Why?" Omi's eyes teared up. "Why did you save me? Why did you stop me?"  
  
Ken's breath caught in his throat. Omi still wanted to die? Why? Didn't he see how important he was to Ken? How important he was to all of their team? They needed him. All of them.  
  
Ken tried to tell him that, but what came out instead was, "I love you Omi."  
  
*TBC*  
  
Tigre: duh duh duh! The confession! Hehehe...I'm evil.  
  
Yuki: That you are.  
  
Tigre: But don't you just love cliff hangers?  
  
Yuki: Review, or this is where the story will end. *evil smirk*  
  
Tigre: And I don't think anyone wants that! 


	3. Doubts and Interuptions

I am dreadfully sorry. I've had the worse case of writers block, and I haven't been able to write anything. It's been much too long, and I'm sorry. Just blame my muse.  
  
Yuki: I told you she always blames me. *pout*  
  
Anyways, without wasting anymore time, here's the next chapter. I also made it a little juicy to make up for lost time.  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Omi's breath caught in his throat. And his eyes widened, than narrowed as he glared at Yohji. "That's not funny." He turned his glare onto Ken. "Let me guess...Yohji told you how I felt, so you thought you'd make a joke of the whole thing?"  
  
Ken was flabbergasted (A/N: That's a hilarious word.)  
  
"What are you talking about? Yohji didn't tell me anything!"  
  
Omi's face scrunched up. "Do you have any idea what this is like?! Living day-by-day, so close to the one you love, but so far. I expected better from you Ken...I didn't expect you to make a joke of the whole thing!" A tear rolled down his face.  
  
"Chibi..." Yohji came forward, and put a hand on Omi's arm. "I didn't tell him anything..."  
  
The air grew stale as silence took reign in the, now crowded, hospital room.  
  
"Wh...what...?" Omi looked up at Yohji with hope in his eyes.  
  
"I didn't tell Ken anything." He repeated.  
  
"You mean..." Omi trailed off, and Yohji nodded. Omi turned his gaze to Ken who had a very confused look on his face. "Ke...Ken-kun...?"  
  
Ken stepped up next to the bed. "Yeah Omi?"  
  
"You...you meant it...?" Omi looked hesitant, like he was about to run, at the slightest indication of insincerity.  
  
Ken was also unsure. He had anticipated many reactions from Omi, but this hadn't been one of them. He almost wished Omi would just slap him, and get this torture over with.  
  
"Of course I meant it." He said a bit harshly. Omi flinched.  
  
"This isn't just some practical joke you and Yohji thought you'd play on me...is it?" With that everything seemed to click in Ken's head. What Yohji meant earlier, why Omi thought it was a joke...  
  
"Does this look like a joke?" Ken leaned forward and captured Omi's lips in a tender kiss. He tentatively reached a hand up to stroke the other's cheek. The kiss only lasted for a few moments, but when the broke apart they were both panting for breath.  
  
"I think I'll leave you two alone." With that said, Yohji backed out of the room. "I'll make sure no one disturbs you."  
  
"Omi...?" Ken was still unsure of Omi's reaction, since the smaller assassin seemed to be frozen in shock, staring right through Ken.  
  
Ken was a little worried. "Omi?" He asked again.  
  
Omi blinked, then focused his eyes on Ken's emerald one's. He remained silent for a moment longer before he reached up, and pulled Ken down on top of him.  
  
Omi's mouth relentlessly attacked Ken's, his teeth nipping and biting at Ken's lips. A moan escaped the brunette's mouth, and he began to kiss back fiercely. Just as things were starting to get heated the door opened and a nurse walked in.  
  
"Oh my." She stood there wide-eyed and open-mouthed staring at them. Ken jumped back hitting the IV pole, and tripping over his feet. Omi had to choke back a laugh, so it ended up coming out as more of a snort.  
  
"I...I..." The nurse was speechless.  
  
"Yohji!" Ken bellowed. Yohji came running in, afraid something was terribly wrong. When he was greeted by the site of Ken on the floor he burst out laughing. "You said you were going to make sure no one disturbed us." Ken glared up at the laughing blond.  
  
Omi seemed to be the first to grow serious. "Excuse me ma'am." He addressed the nurse. "When can I go home?"  
  
She came over, and checked his bandages. "Well, you seem to be doing a lot better." She said blushed, and avoiding eye contact. "I'll go talk to your doctor and see what he says." She hurriedly rushed out of the room, and Yohji started laughing again.  
  
***  
  
So what do you think? When I finally sat down, and made myself write, I'm afraid I might have rushed it a little. I know its pretty short too. Well, review and tell me what you think. I'll make sure I get the next chapter out much sooner, than I did this time. Probably within the next week or two.  
  
R&R 


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